Pink Spandex

2012!

2011-12-27T15:20:00.000-08:00

I was just reading my new year's resolutions for last year, and they were pretty funny. Mainly cause I don't think I completed any of them (except I did get Shawna to clean the bathroom a few times, so that seems like a banner moment!) Shhhh, we won't talk about that, 2011... Because 2012 is right around the corner.

I have decided to limit myself to 3 resolutions this year. I suspect I get overwhelmed with attempting to resolve things, and then I don't do them anyway. As a result, my 3 must be really good.

1. Stop being an asshole.
This is really the most important of all. I've noticed lately that I can be kind of an asshole. For example, when someone is stressed out about something, and takes it out on me, I'm kind of a jerk. Instead of recognizing that their life is probably pretty sucky, and perhaps I could be the person that is nice to them and changes their day a little, I tend to just be an ass. I would like to reverse this, and instead be nice to people even though I want to tell them to fuck off. (This does not prohibit me from saying "Fuck off" silently, to myself, if necessary to make me feel better about being nice)

2. Cook more.
I find that I tend to prepare meals several times per week recently, and I'm really digging it. Last year I resolved to cook one new recipe per week. Frankly, that is some bullshit. Sometimes I'm busy, sometimes I'm not. As such, I resolve this year to just make a conscious effort to cook more, and try new foods--resulting in eating more homecooked meals instead of eating a grilled turkey burger straight off the fork, while standing over the sink and calling it dinner. (Cue Beyonce's "All the Single Ladies" for background music)

3. Start a savings account, and actually put money in it.
It's no secret that the economy sucks, people are struggling, blah blha blah. I find I tend to spend money on really stupid shit, so perhaps instead of purchasing stuff I don't need, I can feed my savings account. (I suspect this is something people resolve when they are younger than me. Did I mention the shitty economy?)

I feel that these three things are all pretty attainable. Except maybe "stop being an asshole" cause I'm just really, really good at coming up with smart remarks sometimes.

Thankful.

2011-12-23T15:44:00.000-08:00

I have decided to fulfill my homework for a writing group that Shawna moderates... Sure, it is a month late, as I was supposed to complete it for November. I like to be a rebel.

Things I am thankful for, for every day of the month:
1. Chocolate: yeah, that's all I have to say.
2. My roomie Shawna, because even though she is weird, she is a really good friend. And weird enough that she keeps me amused constantly.
3. Having a warm bed to sleep in every night.
4. Jean lunges, which make my pants fit even after coming out of the dryer.
5. Gluten free macaroni and cheese, which is kind of the best thing ever.
6. My family.
7. My friends.
8. My alarm clock.
9. A nice, steady run on a cool fall evening as the sun sets.
10. Thyroid medicine, which makes napping on my office floor every afternoon unnecessary (quite ideal as I'm pretty sure the carpet marks on my face were not cute)
11. My job, even though it makes me stress sometimes, is pretty damn awesome.
12. Really loud music.
13. The Golden Girls.
14. Neil Patrick Harris, who I wish I could marry.
15. The fact that I am alive and well, and wake up every day.
16. Laughing till I cry.
17. Hugs.
18. Cooking a nice meal for people that enjoy it.
19. Diet Coke!!!! (I know it is bad for me, but I do not care)
20. My parent's dog, who has the squishiest, sweetest face.
21. A good book.
22. Hammocks and tire swings.
23. Sunshine.
24. The smell of hot pavement after it rains.
25. The fact that my mother has gone to great effort to make holiday meals that are sensitive to my newfound food allergies, which is just really cute of her.
26. Being able to express my thoughts and feelings.
27. Still being in my 20s, so that if I am slutty I can blame it on that (note to self: should probably be slutty within the next three years)
28. Sweatpants and snuggies (completely unrelated to above)
29. TV shows that I can watch a whole season of in succession and not get bored.
30. Having people who love me.

Merry Christmas!

Hello. And Happy Holidays.

2011-12-22T19:28:00.000-08:00

Last night Shawna, our neighbor, and myself spent an extensive amount of time taking weird photos in front of our Christmas tree. This resulted in examples such as the following:

Yes, it is true that we are really cool people.

Pinterest!

2011-11-18T16:16:00.001-08:00

WHY IS PINTEREST SO AWESOME?

I'm not just saying this because it's the cool thing to like Pinterest, or whatever. I truly am a Golden Girl at heart, and so clearly I'm not too worried about being all hip. <--- clearly, since I just used "all hip" in a sentence.

But it is just lovely. I have learned how to curl my hair, create holiday decorations, that sparkly shoes are fabulous, and that I LOVE puppies--all from Pinterest.

Speaking of curling my hair... I just don't get how people make their hair look so awesome. My hair looks like crap when I do it myself. I had it done by a friend yesterday, and was so pleased with it that I pinned it up when I showered and decided to rock it for a second day. This resulted in someone telling me I looked like an untamed native, and later that I looked like a country western singer. I'm not sure which, if either, was a compliment.

But back to Pinterest... It took Shawna awhile to convince me that it is AWESOME, but I finally listened. The same thing goes for "The Hunger Games" trilogy, which I read in three days when she convinced me I would like it. I'm finding that I can waste lots and lots of time on that site, mostly because I am convinced that at heart I am really crafty and vintage-y.

Really, I'm a Golden Girl. But I bet they would have liked Pinterest too.

Behold some sweet Pinterest finds:

7 things I have done recently.

2011-11-18T16:10:00.000-08:00

1. Registered for the local Jingle Bell run, for no reason other than I could, and it seemed like a good idea.
2. Registered for the Disney Princess Half Marathon in Florida in February. This will most likely result in hilarity, as I haven't been distance running in awhile... or even really running, due to medical reasons and the fact that it's f-ing cold outside.
3. Bought a new headlamp for running. Found old headlamp. Became too scared to run outside in the dark (which includes hours before and after work) due to recent string of muggings in my neighborhood. Decided it would be weird to wear headlamp while on treadmill at gym (in related news, I hate treadmills).
4. Got a super awesome haircut/color. See photo above.
5. Went to a midnight showing of the new Twilight movie. Sat in front of a crowd of teenagers smoking pot in the theatre. Realized I am old.
6. Ate peanut butter M&Ms and said, "F you, thyroid."
7. Decided to have a Thanksgiving much like the episode of Gilmore Girls where they go to 4 Thanksgivings. I'm going to shoot for 5.

28 by 28

2011-11-15T10:45:00.000-08:00

I think I wrote this list several months ago, because I totally forgot about it. Today I read through it and kept saying, "Oh yeah, that's a good one!" I, my friends, am a huge nerd.

So, here we have it: 28 by 28. Slightly more complicated because I have almost a whole year to do things in.

1. Run another marathon
2. Travel to another country
3. Find a volunteer project
4. Complete a triathlon
5. Catch a firefly
6. Take a cooking class
7. Make a quilt
8. Go on a road trip with no pre-determined destination
9. Sleep in a treehouse
10. Go rock jumping
11. Celebrate imperfection
12. Spend a day in a hammock
13. Write a book
14. Dress like a professional/grown-up for a month straight
15. Complete a random act of kindness
16. Be a better friend
17. Do a cartwheel
18. Dance in the rain
19. Grow my own vegetables
20. Become more financially responsible
21. Laugh as much as possible
22. Become more self confident
23. Leave a ridiculously large tip for a nice waitress or waiter
24. Improve my Spanish
25. Run over 1,000 miles
26. Go apple picking
27. Buy a headboard (or make one)
28. Eat more vegetables

To add, I have these that I didn't complete from 27:
* Get another tattoo
* Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line
* Hike Mt. Bachelor

Wow, I'm a slacker.

2011-11-15T10:23:00.000-08:00

I often intend to blog more, it is just really hard to remember. I have a very busy schedule of napping, eating those weird crispy pea things from the produce section (they're like potato chips made out of vegetables, and I'm obsessed with them), and watching every show ever made available on Netflix. I am so, so good at life.

To recap, here was what I was supposed to complete before my 27th birthday:
2. Get another tattoo.
11. Go on a picnic.
17. Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line.
21. Hike Mt. Bachelor.
22. Eat a giant Pilot Butte burger.
27. Start writing a book.

There are a few things I didn't complete... They include:
2. Get another tattoo
17. Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line
21. Hike Mt. Bachelor (I waited too long and it got too cold!)

So, we'll add those to my list for my 28th year. Coming soon. :)

Hallo everyone.

2011-11-03T12:12:00.000-07:00

Oh, I've missed you.
Did you miss me, too?

Hello Internet people! Just channeling a bit o' Bette Midler ala Hocus Pocus there... which is who I was for Halloween! Yes. Dressing up as Winifred Sanderson is awesome, as is having three of my best friends dressed as the other Sanderson Sisters and Binx the Cat. Observe.

Sherry as Mary Sanderson, Me as Winifred Sanderson, Leslie as Sarah Sanderson, and Julia as Binx

Sanderson Sisters!

It's just a little hocus pocus!

I hope your Halloween was full of mischief and candy. And maybe just a little karaoke singing.

The countdown begins...

2011-09-23T14:36:00.001-07:00

So, I have this list to accomplish before next Tuesday. And really, I've been slacking. A couple items might need to be postponed, but luckily I have a best pal who just helped me out with an important one:

19. Sign up for my next half marathon.

Guess who will be competing in the Disney Princess 1/2 Marathon in Orlando, FL in February?!?! Thanks for registering us, Nike! :) Sometimes something as random as that will just really improve a bad day.

Go Sexy Olive Gang! (Name brought to you courtesty of the random sports team name generator)

Now, before next Tuesday, I have to do the following...
2. Get another tattoo.
11. Go on a picnic.
17. Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line.
21. Hike Mt. Bachelor.
22. Eat a giant Pilot Butte burger.
27. Start writing a book.

All I have left....

2011-09-06T19:24:00.000-07:00

2. Get another tattoo.
7. Run like I mean it.
11. Go on a picnic.
16. WARRIOR DASH!
17. Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line.
19. Sign up for my next half marathon.
21. Hike Mt. Bachelor.
22. Eat a giant Pilot Butte burger.
26. Do something to improve my karma.
27. Start writing a book.

And only about 3 weeks to do it in!

Some photo highlights of my weekend... I never thought it would be so emotional to watch two people get married, but I totally cried at this wedding. These are two people that care for me like they are my family, and it was the sweetest, smallest, most intimate wedding I think I've been to. Those two have been with me through a lot, and I don't know what I would do without their friendship. P.S. We totally walked out to "Marry You" by Bruno Mars, which was my idea, and it was kinda awesome.

For the first time in awhile, I felt like I had some confidence back on that day, like I was surrounded by people who love me, and like my tits looked pretty damn good! I'm so happy I was there with them. And I drank too much champagne. I might have been a little drunk during my toast, but everyone told me they loved it. They might have been drunk too?

13. Watch a sunset.

2011-08-23T11:43:00.000-07:00

Last night I served as Shawna's designated driver. I ended up taking Drunk Shawna to the top of the butte to watch the sunset, cause we were driving by and she yelled at me that it was necessary.

7 down, 20 to go...

2011-08-22T14:37:00.000-07:00

4. Take a road trip.

To Sisters, OR, with Shawna! Haha, not very far, but eventful all the same!

5. Look at the stars.

While watching a meteor shower with my dad and sister... we never saw the meteor shower, but we saw some stars. I'm still unclear as to whether there actually was a meteor shower that night?

8. Drink a Bloody Mary.

My new drink of choice, since I'm allergic to beer. With Shawna at dinner one night. And it was good.

9. Float the long river float.

Yesterday, with Shawna and a friend. It could have been longer, but we stopped at a good point. Oh, floating, I love you.

12. Hike the butte.

Done last Friday with my neighbor. That bitch is steep (the butte, not the neighbor).

18. Run through sprinklers.

Done.

20. Get a pedicure.

Pedicure courtesy of my second mom, who gave me a sweet gift. Except the man who did it was super creepy, and slapped my feet (is that supposed to feel good?) and burned me with hot towels. Yeah, I didn't get it either.

24. Fix my kitchen chairs!

Hells yeah.

Oh, that's 8. ALL ACCOMPLISHED!

I didn't take pictures of all of them. Sometimes I'm forgetful.

#18 & #24

2011-08-15T10:11:00.000-07:00

18. Run through sprinklers.

Check! My sister and I went for a bike ride this weekend, along a path by the river, for about 7 miles. On the way, I found this open field with giant sprinklers. Clearly, a good opportunity. The only problem was that I was left smelling like dirty water the rest of our bike ride. Still, it was refreshing! I've always wanted to run through one of those fields, too.

24. Fix my kitchen chairs.

BOO YAH! Who needs a man to fix stuff? NOT ME! Well, technically my dad helped with this via text message, but still. I fixed these silly chairs, and I fixed them good. It's taken me several months, but finally I figured it out. I am a strong, independent single woman and I can fix chairs.

27 things

2011-08-02T22:01:00.000-07:00

On September 27, I will turn 27. I'm not very excited about it. I feel pretty old. Sometimes, on Sundays, I take naps and go for Sunday drives with Shawna. Yeah, I'm that old. Shawna's already 27, so it's acceptable for her to do such things, but I've got a good couple months of 26 left in me!

As a result, my mission. To complete 27 awesome things by the time I turn 27. I'll probably try to photograph them, or something. I might only do one and forget about it. We'll see.

1. Take a quality nap.
2. Get another tattoo.
3. Twirl.
4. Take a road trip.
5. Look at the stars.
6. Hug someone.
7. Run like I mean it.
8. Drink a Bloody Mary.
9. Float the long river float.
10. Find a wedding date (even if it's my sister)
11. Go on a picnic.
12. Hike the butte.
13. Watch a sunset.
14. Ride my bicycle.
15. Have a dance party.
16. WARRIOR DASH!
17. Pay for coffee for someone behind me in line.
18. Run through sprinklers.
19. Sign up for my next half marathon.
20. Get a pedicure.
21. Hike Mt. Bachelor.
22. Eat a giant Pilot Butte burger.
23. Find an excellent gluten free beer.
24. Fix my kitchen chairs!
25. Swim in the ocean.
26. Do something to improve my karma.
27. Start writing a book.

Tim McGraw, I love you too much.

2011-07-22T22:18:00.000-07:00

I just got this hospital bill for my Tim McGraw trip wherein I had to go to the ER with an allergic reaction.

Piece of advice: do NOT go to the ER on an Indian Reservation in the middle of nowhere.

As a result, I feel very, very, poor. Shawna convinced me to create a donation website for my hospital bill, because she feels very sorry for me. Her logic is that if 800 people gave me $1, I could pay it. Or something.

Tim McGraw is just too pretty! Behold:

How I came to carry an epi-pen in my purse.

2011-06-20T20:54:00.000-07:00

Things that happened in the past few days:
1. Attended a concert with Shawna, ate food that I didn't think was too weird.
2. Began having an allergic reaction to said food (we think) and decided it was appropriate to say, "Pshaw, no worries" and ice my hot pink face while leaving to go on a road trip.
3. Stayed in a motel with blood stains on the wall. Except I convinced myself they were nail polish stains.
4. Went to the ER at 5 a.m. because my eyes and throat were swelling shut. Became very, very drugged out on antihistamines.
5. Got a speeding ticket, when I wasn't speeding, on a road with no posted limited where all cars with out of state plates were getting pulled over by a cop standing by his car and waving them over with his hand. $144 later, I said very bad words about that cop.
6. Went camping, but forgot chairs, cups, and basically everything but the tent.
7. Stroked Tim McGraw's leg, held his hand, and attempted to grab his butt. If only I were a few inches taller.

Worth it.

5 months later

2011-06-10T15:53:00.001-07:00

I forgot I had a blog for 5 months. Meh, it happens.

Things that have happened in the past 5 months:
1. I gained 3,000,000 pounds (or what feels like it), leading me to begin seeing a naturopath, so that I could say, "Dude, what the heck?" and decide that my hippie-ish parents have more of an affect on me than I thought due to my inclination to see a naturopath when my doctor wants to put me on all kinds of pills. I don't want to take all kinds of pills, I just want to not feel like crap all the time, is that so much to ask? Can't herbs do that, or naps, or something?

2. Found out my thryoid is whack (I hate you, thyroid) and considered selling it on craigslist. Began taking medicine so said thyroid would behave. Considered hugging my naturopath, cause she kicks ass, but decided that would be weird.

3. Found out I am allergic to everything worth eating (wheat, eggs, whey... lima beans). Wondered how a person even becomes allergic to lima beans, and how weird I have to be to be allergic to lima beans.

4. Quit eating forementioned items of deliciousness, and discovered that I can now breathe, digestive problems are no longer, and I am not really supposed to constantly be tired and crazy. Thank you, food allergy test. Decided as a result that food allergies aren't really that bad...but I will still miss beer.

5. Started running again, seeing as how I can breathe now, and discovered it's a lot easier when there is a consistent oxygen flow. Felt as though I am starting over, but at least I'm starting, right?

6. Began a "bootcamp" with my neighbor, but since we're poor and don't want to spend craptons of money, formed our own bootcamp in our courtyard. Cars like to honk at us, cause we live on a busy road. Oh well.

7. Went fishing, caught 5 fish, but only got one actually out of the water and safely in my freezer. Fish are tricky.

8. Rode my bike to work and successfully navigated two roundabouts without dying. I have grand plans of riding my bike to work during warmer months, but am rather terrified of cars running over me.

That's about it.

Quarantined.

2011-02-17T12:58:00.000-08:00

I have had a 100 plus temperature for 3 days. It is entirely possible that death is approaching.

The ER doctor was very concerned that I would infect my roommate, and told me to quarantine myself until I spent 24 hours fever free.

As a result, I am almost through season one of One Tree Hill. And I'm really, really lonely.

Conveniently, the fever is making me delirious and I'm pretty sure I'm hallucinating sometimes too, so I don't realize I'm lonely.

I'm just not doing so well at fundraising...

2011-02-04T08:23:00.000-08:00

Dude, I'm kind of sucking at fundraising this year:

View my Polar Plunge Donation Page.

My only funds raised came from my mother. Hahaha. It's like when I was 5 and she was the only customer at our Kool-Aid stand.

Well, oops.

2011-01-28T15:16:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget to blog. For a really, really long time.

What is it with me and mud?

2011-01-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

I have no idea why, but I'm finding the idea of events involving mud and being rugged totally entertaining lately.

My running buddy and I signed up for a trail run at the end of the month wherein you have to run through rives and mud and whatnot. This seemed like an excellent idea at the time.

And now, some other friends convinced me to join them in the glory that is the Warrior Dash!

It just sounds so interesting. It's like playing in the mud when you were little, but better, cause you get a funny hat.

Things I'm really good at lately...

2011-01-05T09:22:00.001-08:00

1. Sitting on the couch watching trashy television while drinking a diet Sprite with vanilla from Sonic. This is my happy time, typically occurring on Tuesdays.

2. Napping.

3. Finding things to wear scarves with. I'm just really into scarves lately. Perhaps I should have more than three that I constantly rotate?

4. Making things out of beef, due to the fact that my parents gave me some organic, grass-fed beef from their friend's ranch. It tastes like heaven, in meat form.

5. Discovering items at Goodwill that I originally think are ugly, then show them to Shawna and realize they are really cute and I shouldn't have let her steal them away from me. Oh, yellow shoes, I will be borrowing you.

Goodbye 2010....

2011-01-04T08:50:00.000-08:00

So, that year kinda sucked. There were some good things, some really good things, and then the last half of it really took a downward spiral for some reason. I'm trying not to let the bad memories take away from the happy memories. Also, I discovered that I have a really good set of friends and family surrounding me.

I'm hoping 2011 is better. A lot better. And although I think New Year's Resolutions are kind of silly, here are mine. I decided to do 11 for 2011.

1. Run another marathon. June 4, here I come!

2. Obtain a new 5K PR. Or at least be as fast as I once was, haha.

3. Figure out my finances.

4. Be awesome, and hardcore--which involves completing several events I am excited about--namely the Warrior Dash next September, which is a 3 mile obstacle course involving mud, fire, and glory.

5. Help my best pal have an excellent wedding, cause she's pretty cool.

6. Go on vacation somewhere warm for my 27th b-day on the 27th of September. This is highly contingent on my finances.

7. Write some stuff, since I used to do that for a living or whatever.

8. Make. pants. fit.

9. Drink at least 64 ounces of water every day.

10. Teach Shawna to clean the bathroom, cause she never has.

11. Cook a new recipe per week. (I got the "Nancy Drew Cookbook" for Christmas, haha, and it is amazing!)

We'll see about that.

Upon further reflection, I discovered these were my goals last year:
1. Be happy.
2. Run more (signed up for a 15k in Salem on Feb. 7 as a method of forcing myself to work out)
3. Eat healthier (Shawna's roommate influence will not bring me down! Just say no to frozen burritos!)
4. Spend more time with my family (if a trip to England can be worked into this, that would be ideal)
5. Take control of my financial situation (thus making a trip to England most likely impossible)

I'd say I gave all of those a shot, but you'll notice they're strikingly similar to my 2011 resolutions. Some things never change...

And I said I'd never do another one...

2010-12-27T08:26:00.000-08:00

Three Sisters Marathon. June 4, 2011.

Suck on that, lungs.

Letter to Me

2010-12-15T21:43:00.001-08:00

Dear Self,
It is almost the end of 2010. You really, really need to snap out of it.

You used to be a runner. You used to eat lots and lots of vegetables. You used to be a happy, bubbly, overly enthusiastic person. There is no reason why you cannot get back to that.

I want you to stop feeling like no one will love you. And smile more. And maybe update your blog more regularly.

Quit sucking at life, please and thank you.
Love,
Me

Things I did this holiday weekend.

2010-11-29T11:19:00.000-08:00

1. Reverted to my college days, with my college pal Shawna, and was drunk two nights in a row.

2. Sang karaoke. Oh, I love me some Reba.

3. Drank Gatorade.

4. Face planted on a hill while holding hands with Shawna, then laughed for five minutes in attempt to get up.

5. Went sledding at 1 a.m. with strangers in the park across the street.

6. Nicknamed a first year med student "Dr. David" and asked him medical advice, then told people it was his birthday so he could get free drinks. Also lied and told people he was a pediatrician.

7. Laughed.

8. Cried.

9. Decorated for Christmas.

10. Ate turkey, and stuffing, and pie.

11. Caught a cold, which makes chicken soup very necessary right now. Perhaps from all the drinking and playing in the snow?

12. Had a "rugged photo shoot" with Shawna.

13. Had a light saber battle with a three-year-old.

14. Ate chicken strips and gravy.

15. Witnessed a Christmas tree lighting.

16. Spread Christmas cheer.

17. Stayed up all night to Black Friday shop, which was a horrible idea.

18. Baked a pie, and cookies.

19. Made a paper snow flake.

20. Napped.

I just really like these shoes.

2010-11-14T11:03:00.000-08:00

Some of my new heroes.

2010-11-13T12:10:00.001-08:00

Go here, and be amazed. Sometimes I really love the things I randomly find on the Internet.

Everything is better with glitter.

S is for Saturday... and sweatpants.

2010-11-13T10:12:00.000-08:00

I'm at work right now, taking a break from paperwork to write a blog, and wearing my sweatpants. There are benefits to working overtime on the weekend when no one else is here (except for the fact that someone else was here, and saw me dressed like this, which is awkward).

I'm also reading "rockstar diaries" which I am newly obsessed with, drinking coffee, and listening to Carrie Underwood. I'm really bad at working overtime, it seems. All I really want to do is curl up on my lovely purple couch, with my snuggie, and take a nap.

Last night Shawna and I had a bunch of people over for game night, and they were all discussing something that happened to one of their coworkers. It's something that recently happened to me as well, and my heart hurts for this woman. I feel like my heart shouldn't be allowed to hurt, and since our situations are different, I feel guilty for comparing our circumstances at all. But I know on some degree what she is feeling, and I wish that I could take that feeling away for her.

All I could do was sit there, in silence, and be sad inside, but not in a way that I could let other people see. Because I can't allow myself to be sad, or grieve, because I think it was my fault. And I think that no one really gets that.

It's one of those things that I don't think you can really get, until it happens. It's not something I can talk about to people, and although I've told people closest to me (and a few others, just at random), it's not something I can explain or process.

One of my coworkers learned about recent events in my life, and left me a letter in my mailbox at work. All it contained was an essay, with a note at the end that said, "I have been there. And I'm sorry."

It made me burst into tears, and we never talked about it, except when I e-mailed her and said, "Thank you. That meant more to me than you know." She wrote back. "Dude--anytime."

I think she gets it.

Probably, I need therapy. And a hug. And a nap. And my snuggie. But all I have is this stack of paperwork, and my Saturday of hanging out in my office in my sweatpants.

I'll feel better about this someday, right?

F is for Friday

2010-11-12T08:24:00.000-08:00

So,I bought a cheap treadmill off of Craigslist. It's terribly loud, and an eyesore in my bedroom, but it works, and it will prevent me from a) sitting on the couch all winter and b) running outside in a blizzard when it starts to snow.

I'm pretty sure my treadmill is going to be my new boyfriend. We're going to spend all sorts of quality time together, and probably watch sitcoms together, and maybe I'll cheat on him with the couch, but he'll always take me back.

Maybe if I tell my coworkers that I have a new boyfriend, they'll stop trying to set me up with every single guy they meet? They don't need to know my boyfriend is a piece of exercise equipment.

I weighed myself the other day, and I cried.

Sometimes that happens.

I did squats and lunges across my bedroom to make my jeans fit today. Damn you, casual Friday!

Tomorrow I'm going to a coworker's wedding, and my date is my 50-year-old female coworker. I'm basing my outfit entirely around my hot pink stilettos. It turns out that not a lot goes with hot pink stilettos.

My life is ridiculous, and so am I.

This must be what heaven is like.

2010-11-10T20:07:00.001-08:00

It's all about the outfit.

2010-11-10T19:43:00.000-08:00

So, for my b-day, I was gifted a running skirt and sparkly running headband by a very dear friend.

She knows me so well.

The only reason I do anything is for the cute outfits. Fishing? Cute outfit. Hunting? Cute outfit, though orange isn't my color.

I am all about accessorizing.

I fail at blogging lately, so that's my attempt. You're welcome.

Love.

2010-11-03T22:06:00.000-07:00

Me: (admiring the "bikini" t-shirt Robin was wearing on a re-run of How I Met Your Mother) I so want one of those shirts.

Shawna: What shirts?

Me: The one Robin is wearing.

Shawna: Oh, cool.

...

Twelve minutes later.

...

Shawna: Leslie, don't you want one of those shirts, didn't you tell me that one time?

Me: Yeah. I just told you that a few minutes ago, actually.

This is my life, people.

Hair.

2010-11-01T10:32:00.000-07:00

Oh hey. I went blonde. I feel like my life is just ridiculous lately, so it was totally time for a new hair color.

I told Shawna last night that a year ago I never would have thought I would be blonde, have a tattoo, be 40 pounds heavier, and have gone through all the crap I went through. Life is surprising.

Oh yeah, my pants don't fit right now. Don't judge. It's been a rough few months!

Vote for us!

2010-10-25T11:57:00.000-07:00

Go vote here, for the gnome table.

Look, this is our house.

So is this.

You know you love gnomes. And unicorns.

All you have to do is "like" the photo on ReadyMade's page. It's easy! It'll take two seconds during your busy schedule of Facebook stalking!

Thank you.

Why I run...

2010-10-21T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last night, I remembered some things about being me. I decided to go for a run, mainly because I obligated myself to run a 5k on December 4 (thanks, Gabe and Chelse, otherwise I would have sat on the couch). For the first time in awhile, I felt like myself again.

Over the past few months, I've had some serious roadblocks when it came to running. Sometimes it was physical pain, sometimes it was emotional pain, sometimes it was just the inability to motivate myself. I let myself fall into the trap of not caring enough about myself to be healthy, and feeling like I wasn't worth much. That's not a place I would like to be again.

So I set out last night, on a pleasant evening with cool fall temperatures. Leaves are changing so I was surrounded by oranges and reds, and a pretty sunset. My feet hit the pavement in rhythm, and for 4 miles, I was able to just be me. And I was happy.

I've tried to experiment with group running events, and running with friends, and while I enjoy it, for some reason it just isn't the same as a run by myself where I have time to think. Last night I thought about love, and loss, and how even if I don't feel anything ever again to the degree that I felt previously, at least I am capable of loving that much. I thought about work, and the raise I got yesterday, and what color to paint my toenails, and about how I measure my feelings for a guy by the amount of tingling I feel in my toes when he kisses me. And how that's probably why I should change the way I choose which men to allow in my life. I thought about pumpkins, and how my pants don't fit except for one pair, and how I'm kind of okay with that right now since at least I have been able to get out of bed and go to work. I thought about cowboys, and cocktails, and about how much I love Katy Perry lately. I listened to breakup anthems, and silently thanked Keith Urban for ever recording the song "Stupid Boy." I thought about friendship, and how I'm glad I have people in my life that will send me lists of songs I should listen to while I'm feeling this way, because it really does help. I thought about making drastic hair decisions and how I should probably do something reckless, because if I'm going to be reckless, now is the time to do it. Mostly, I just thought.

Before I knew it, 4 miles had flown by. And I felt stronger than I have in awhile. I felt more like me--and that is why I run.

Wednesday.

2010-10-20T09:59:00.000-07:00

I have been watching more episodes of "Weeds" than can ever be good for a person. Soon, however, I will be done with all the seasons that are on the instantly watch section of Netflix. And normal life shall resume.

This weekend I am hosting a bachelorette party and going to Roloff Farms (the pumpkin patch owned by the people on "Little People, Big World"). I know, you're jealous.

Stress relief

2010-10-14T18:14:00.000-07:00

Picture this hypothetical situation: You had a rough day at work, perhaps hit your knee on a table edge during a staff meeting... but not in a normal way, in a way that almost made you instantly vomit from pain and come very close to saying, "FUCK" in front of all your coworkers. Just close, mind you. Now your knee is completely doubled in size because it's so swollen, and you think perhaps you're the clumsiest person ever. Now imagine that you are overwhelmed by life, and completely disillusioned by the male race, and really just generally in a pissy mood.

Never happened to you? Yeah, me neither.

But if it had (completely hypothetically) happened to me, and maybe if I couldn't go for a run tonight because I cannot even really walk at the moment, I would have several solutions for this grumpy day.

Solution one:

Beer. Sessions Black Lager. Be still my heart! Also, first pomegranate of the season!!! BOO YAH!

Did I really just say boo yah about a piece of fruit?

Solution two:

That's right, purple sweatpants that are so comfortable it's like you're not wearing pants! And perhaps the t-shirt from your very first 5k, which is old and worn, and possibly stained due to a horrific tomato soup cooking incident in which you burned your tits with pureed tomatoes? That hasn't happened to you either?

...

Yeah, me either.

And finally, solution three:

Pizza dough. Used to make your roommate dinner, while drinking a beer. Because somethings, a girl just needs to punch something. And today that something is a ball of dough.

Teamwork

2010-10-14T10:39:00.000-07:00

Shawna and I should not be allowed to play Super Mario Bros together, in the Wii version where two players go through the course together. There was yelling, and each of us killed the other one at some point by going too far ahead.

Clearly, it's beneficial to both of us that we work so well together as roommates. We just can't go on missions to rescue cartoon princesses, that's all.

Just dance, bitches!

2010-10-12T10:15:00.000-07:00

You may have heard that Shawna bought a Wii. You may have also heard that she purchased "Just Dance" and pre-ordered "Just Dance 2."

She's been making me play it continuously. It's getting a little ridiculous how much we love that game, to the point that I swear I woke up last night and was dancing in my sleep.

My arm hurts a little.

Sometimes I find myself singing the songs and doing the dance moves while sitting at my desk.

One can only imagine the trouble that "Just Dance 2" will bring when it arrives on Thursday.

In other, completely random news:
1. A very good friend has started doing the Couch to 5k plan, and he and I are going to do a local Jingle Bell Run on December 4. He is marrying my heterosexual life mate, so she will be sitting on my stoop cheering us on, hopefully drinking coffee with Irish Creme and Kahulua in it. It's only appropriate. I am very proud of him! And also, that gives me a reason to run, so that I can keep up with him, haha.

2. I like... LOVE Katy Perry all of a sudden. She has overwhelmed my generic mp3 device that I am using to run with (RIP ipod), and I find her glorious. I may have kissed a cowboy in a bar on Friday night while her song "Teenage Dream" was playing, so now that song makes me laugh every time. Holy rebound, and also, I should really not drink anymore, ever again. This time I really mean it when I say I am adopting spinsterhood!

3. WTF is with all the celebrity couples breaking up lately? Courtney Cox and David Arquette? Christina Aguilera and the guy she married whose name I don't know? Is there no hope for celebrity people to stay married?

4. Speaking of Christina Aguilera... go youtube the preview of "Burlesque." Christina. Cher. Sparkles. Musical numbers. Why yes, yes I will be seeing that.

5. Also, speaking of movies (I swear there was a logical transition between all of these topics in my head), "Easy A" is hilarious and I kind of love Emma Stone. Mainly because I have had this exact sort of situation in my very own life:

6. I just really, really love unicorns.

Small Town Saturday Night

2010-10-10T13:42:00.001-07:00

So, Shawna and I are awesome. This is how we spend our evenings together. We're the best single women in our 20s ever, basically.

Mmmm.... pineapple curry. And Nintendo Wii. And pumpkin fro-yo. It's like Halloween on your tongue.

I am alive.

2010-10-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

Dear blog, you’ve heard it before: I’m a lazy son of a gun. I have not written to you in the longest time, but know that you are always on my mind… just like Georgia.

Leslie and I had some tough summers, and we are trying to settle into changes that have occurred in our lives. Hers may have been more heartbreaking, but I had some unhappiness as well which I don’t feel comfortable posting on the interwebs. Anyway, here is fall, and I am happy for it to be here with all of its leaves and cider and Halloween costumes. (BT-Dub, Leslie and I are going to be Ghostbusters this year. Frick yes!)

As you know, Leslie and I always enjoy a writing a good list, so here are the things that are making me excited right now:

The book Zombies vs. Unicorns. It was pretty much written with our interests in mind.
My new Wii. I pre-ordered "Just Dance 2," and it is released in three days. I CANNOT WAIT!
Black nail polish I keep peeling off my nails.
Going to visit the Roloff farm in a couple weeks with Leslie and Nike.
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows midnight showing!
Polar Plunging with "Team Apocalypse... We've all been there" as a gang of Buffys (or is it Buffies).
Finding an opportunity to wear Leslie's and my newly acquired unicorn costume. It's brilliant.

So, yeah, there's some good stuff I'm looking forward to right now. Yeah fall!

If you weren't jealous of us before...

2010-10-08T08:52:00.000-07:00

Shawna and I went to see "Evil Dead: The Musical" last night. We had front row splatter seating. I know, right?

I suggest you all find a local production and go see it immediately. It was a glorious experience.

It's totally not weird that we spend our Thursday evenings doing that, right? Tongight we are having a Michael Jackson dance party! It's normal, our lifestyle, I think.

Go watch the video. It will change your life immediately.

Um, whatever.

2010-10-08T08:36:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of being depressed. I think I'm starting to annoy myself. The couch and I are spending too much time together, and I think our relationship needs a little time and space. I'm all for time with comfy sweatpants, the couch, and a season of "Weeds" (how have I not discovered that show earlier?) but I think I'm starting to get a little ridiculous.

You know how people will tell you, "You won't be given more than you can handle. You were given so much to deal with because you're a strong woman." I want those people to shut the f up, or let me punch them in the face. The events of the past couple months of my life were both devastating and unexpected, and I know I can handle it, but I certainly don't think any of it was necessary.

I had my heart broken. I had some bad doctor's appointments. I suffered a loss and I'm not sure how I should grieve. But I'm still here.

I mentioned to a friend I hadn't talked to in awhile that I had some serious mileage to put on my running shoes, cause that's when I do my best thinking and am able to clear my head. Now I'm realizing maybe that's the problem... I found this activity that I enjoy, that allows me time to myself, and that has helped me get through some tough situations. Now, because of my lung issue earlier in the summer, and because of various (and more recent) medical issues that we won't discuss, that has been taken away from me for a period of time.

But I'm fine now. I have two legs, and two feet, and two healthy lungs. What's stopping me? Currently, nothing. The running shoes and I, we will be reunited. I'll take my time to think, and grieve, and just be present in that moment where my feet are hitting the pavement steadily.

I need to recognize the positive instead of the negative. I have a kickass job, great friends, an awesome family, and a bottle of wine in my fridge. I can bounce back, if I put my mind to it.

Christina Perri - Jar of Hearts Official Video

2010-10-07T15:46:00.000-07:00

This is my new breakup anthem. I dig it. I've found that having a breakup anthem is helpful... last time I had my heart broken, I found myself listening to "Don't Let Me Stop You" by Kelly Clarkson quite a lot.

Ah, life.

Who am I?

2010-10-06T09:22:00.000-07:00

A year and two days ago, I ran the Portland marathon.

Yesterday I spent my evening on the couch with some chicken strips. The night before, I ate f-oreos and cheez-its and found myself, again, on the couch.

I think the couch and I are becoming a little too close. The problem with wallowing, and being in the depths of despair, is that I'm really, really good at sitting on the couch. I'm all about chicken strips and f-oreos, I just typically like to think that I choose to balance them out with healthy meals and lots of activity. That's not so much the case lately. It would appear I am not doing so well with operation super hotness. Whoops. Time to restart my mission!

The problem is that it's really, really difficult to not feel like I'm in the depths of despair lately. Darn it.

Happy Anniversary!

2010-10-05T21:19:00.000-07:00

Shawna and I forgot our roommate-iversary. We're so lame. (Oddly enough, today is the year anniversary of when I started my new job!)

Here are the things we enjoy about our life together:
1. Buying f-oreos (fake Oreos) and eating them with milk. The fake ones absorb the milk better!
2. Hugging each other as hard as we can to see if it freaks our neighbor out.
3. High-fiving each other twice.
4. Watching glorious television such as "Veronica Mars" and "Buffy"
5. Waxing our lips. But not our nether regions. Lesson learned.
6. Late night conversations and dance parties.
7. Collection unicorns.
8. Dressing up in costume for nights on the town... or any reason, really.
9. Discovering the karaoke channel.
10. Watching "How I Met Your Mother" and fantasizing about Neil Patrick Harris, who is clearly going to become straight and will want to be our boyfriend immediately.
11. Fascinations with things such as polygamy. "Big Love" anyone?
12. Not caring that the world thinks that we are most likely lesbians, when really we just plan to be like the "Golden Girls" and eat cheesecake. If we were really married, don't you think we would have registered for a magic bullet by now?
13. Farting. You know you're very good friends when you get to a point that you can do that in front of each other (but not ON each other, which Shawna fails to recognize at times).
14. Crafting a home that resembles a carnival... It's like living a life of magic.
15. Road trips!
16. Costco, and all the lovely things it brings us, like giant bags of spinach, frozen burritos, and giant bottles of champagne.
17. 44 ounces of soda from Sonic. Hello, happy hour.
18. Payday sushi. Yes, we have a date night, every payday, where we eat sushi.
19. Being awesome.

Now, a photographic tour of our lives together...

October goals!

2010-10-03T22:25:00.000-07:00

I kind of forgot it was a new month... I had these goals in September:

1. Run. Just run. When I want to, where I want to, at my pace. Get back to being the person that I was before, who would run for stress relief and didn't care what other people thought about her pace or ability.

Yeah, that needs work. I'm trying!

2. Financial plan--get one. People in their late 20's should be more financially responsible than I am.

Still working on that one too.

3. Get healthy. I don't care how much I weigh, I just don't feel right at the moment. Eat better, drink water, limit post-breakup cocktails.

The problem is that I really, REALLY like post-breakup cocktails. Again, a work in progress.

4. Brush my hair at least once a week. The curly look is okay, but I feel like I should look more professional and less like I'm an airhead who doesn't own a hairbrush.

I got a haircut, does that count?

5. Do not cry on my birthday. Repeat: Do. Not. Cry. I am not really having an easy time, and I cry a lot, and I just feel like that's a day that I should not be sad.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! One out of five, I guess? Let's try those again for October, but I'll change number 5 to "Must drink more water." Hydration is important.

9 weeks

2010-10-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

Little things make me feel a twinge lately. A little glimmer of heartache creeps into my every thought, a little pang of worry is always there, and a tiny piece of me was frozen forever in a time when I didn't have to feel this way.

It's hearing that others have reached a milestone that I could have been at. It's wondering what I could have done differently. It's wondering if I'll ever get a chance to do things the right way. It's seeing people I care about going through major life events and wondering if it will ever be me. Or if I'm being punished. Or what I did to deserve the things that have been happening to me.

I can't explain how I feel to anyone. Once upon a time, I used to be a writer, and I can't even write about this... So this is my attempt to let some of it out, to put it into words and see if it helps.

In the past two years, I have had a lot of major events happen. I left my career, and I thought I would never recover from the fear that caused me to flee. Still, I made it, and I found a new career, but the memory is still there. I still think about those terrifying minutes that changed my life when I'm doing something so innocent as watching a scary movie with Shawna. I still have nightmares sometimes. I think I have bounced back, but I still hold something from that time period inside of me and always will.

This year, I found myself without the person I thought would love me forever. Even worse, I lost something I didn't know I had, and I don't really know how I should let that affect me. Everyone goes through breakups, sure, but this summer was about so much more than just a breakup. Instead of holding memories inside of me, I feel like a part of me is gone now. A few moments made me lose a tiny piece of my heart--it's like it was patched together to begin with, probably with duct tape, and now a little corner has crumbled off. What happened before wasn't anything I had a choice in, but this feels like it's my fault. If I could have done something differently, he wouldn't have left. If I had been more careful, I wouldn't be going through the things I am going through right now.

I've been told that I don't deserve the things that are happening to me lately, but part of me thinks that I do. That if I were more caring, more compassionate, more something... Perhaps people think I should be moving on and in a different place in life already, but I can't tell people the parts of the story that might explain why I'm stuck. Why there is a tiny piece of me missing forever.

The way that I am feeling lately is about so much more than just losing a boyfriend. It's about a type of loss I had never felt before, and being completely broken, and letting something affect my spirit so much that sometimes I'm not sure that I know how to fight my way back. It's difficult, trying to be a woman, especially when most of the time I still feel like a girl. But now I have those little pinpricks of emotion to remind me that a singular event aged me in ways I cannot explain. My shoulders droop a little more, my eyes are a tiny bit bluer after crying for hours, and forever there will be this thing that makes me remember what could have been. This summer was a season that changed me in ways that I can't take back.

I guess there will always be a twinge.

Brrrrr....

2010-09-29T18:56:00.001-07:00

We're plunging again!

Picture this, friends: a team of people dressed up as characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, plunging into icy cold waters, all in the name of raising money for the Special Olympics.

It's "Team Apocalypse... We've All Been There!"

If you don't get that reference, e-mail me, we need to talk.

Kindly click here to donate if you'd like!

Stuff and things

2010-09-29T14:39:00.000-07:00

I have a doctor's appointment that I am not looking forward to tomorrow (like, more than I can even tell you), so in attempt to distract myself, I feel I should mention several things that make me happy.

1. Angry girl music and breakup anthems by the likes of Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, and Taylor Swift. Love it.
2. Pumpkin spice lattes.
3. Tomato soup, which I shall attempt to make myself tonight with tomatoes from my parent's garden.
4. Purple sweatpants.

I also just read an article on CNN about how heartbreak really does make your heart skip a beat. I KNEW I wasn't making that shit up when I thought my heart stopped for a second! Even now, I am still at a point where I don't feel whole. I feel like a piece of me is missing, and I don't feel like myself. Luckily, I have lots of kickass people around me. And my running shoes. And a Snuggie.

BIRTHDAY!

2010-09-28T20:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I turned 26.

I did not cry, at all, during the whole day. I was pleased. It actually a super fun birthday, even though I recently found out some info that temporarily put me back into the depths of despair. Whatever. IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY, BITCHES!

First, I went camping for the weekend at the coast with my heterosexual life mate. It was excellent weather, until the second night when a storm hit. Both our tents leaked, and we wandered away from our campsite for the day on adventures. When we returned, my tent had blown into the next camp site. And flooded. And the dish soap we brought was in a bag inside my tent. Let's just say... there were bubbles.

Chelse is the type of friend that knows what I am thinking when I don't have to say it, and she got me an excellent birthday gift that reminded me just how super cool she is. It was a good vacation.

Upon my arrival home, Shawna and I traveled with our neighbor to the local fro-yo joint, where we FREAKING SAW MATTHEW FOX. Yes. He was there. I saw him. It was the best birthday EVER.

Then, I dressed up crazy and had a dance party. And played pool. And drank... a lot.

Probably, I should be embarrassed to be me. But I'm not. Also, they gave me a Snuggie. It is awesome, and I am all set for spinsterhood. I also request that you all google "Snuggie Sutra" immediately.

I have to go watch the Britney Spears episode of Glee now. Whatever, my love for Britney Spears is never ending, despite the fact that I am now the ripe old age of 26.

Perspective

2010-09-19T19:36:00.000-07:00

I spent the day yesterday volunteering at an event for homeless and needy families in Central Oregon. I had to spend time at a booth for my company, but I also helped out in a couple of the other areas as well.

The thing about my job is that every day I see the effects of recession and job loss, and I see the fear and hopelessness in people's eyes. In my line of work, I sometimes get to help these people. Yesterday there wasn't much I could do besides offer friendly words and do what I was able to help as a volunteer.

At one point I was speaking with an elderly Hispanic man, who told me he's nearing 70 and has worked as a construction laborer and welder for most of his life. He then said, "You know what job I'd like to have? I'd like to write you a song about how pretty you are!" I almost died. I turned bright red, and was laughing my ass off as he continued, "It would be a great song! I've written a few songs in my lifetime, I could sing one for you!" There was nothing I could do but giggle nervously. He and I were speaking in Spanish, so my non-Spanish speaking co-worker looked at me like I was a crazy person (or a tomato). He did sing one song for me, also.

As I was about to leave, a little girl of about 6 or 7 asked if I would play with her. She was bouncing a balloon around, so we hit it back and forth for awhile, and she thought I was super cool for stopping what I was doing to hang out with her. Her face haunted me all night, because as I came home to my warm, cozy bed I couldn't help but wonder if she and her family had a place to sleep that night, or if they were out on the street in the rain.

It's tough, my job. But it puts things into perspective. No matter how bad things get, no matter how many health scares I have, or how I feel when I find out the ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend already after breaking up with me less than two months ago (yeah, that sucked), I know that I am currently safe. I have a home, I have family and friends who love me. It really could be so very much worse.

A new mission.

2010-09-15T14:21:00.000-07:00

Operation: Super Hotness. Day 1.

So, there's this thing. The people who introduced me to the ex-boyfriend? They're getting married. In a year. I'm the maid of honor, and he's also in the wedding party methinks. Holy awkward.

This is my best friend of all time, so clearly I want her to have a fabulous wedding and not have awkwardness. I think a year will give me some time to not feel like I want to cry immediately upon seeing him. The most important thing is that she is happy, and has a wonderful day, and marries her super sweet manfriend and lives happily ever after.

But I also want to look super hot so the ex-boyfriend regrets ever letting me go. Is that wrong?

Probably, this means I should not sit on the couch so much. I should run. And eat vegetables. And get back to being my super awesome self. And make my pants fit again. Also, if my boobs could get bigger, that would be nice, but I know that won't happen.

I'm not going to lie, my summer spent in the depths of despair led to the scale and I getting into an argument recently. When I get stressed out, my ass like to gain a couple sizes. I have a year, and I would like to both feel better about myself and feel healthier than I do right now. Also, I would like to be even more awesome.

I realize I am shallow. I don't care. He can kick rocks. I would just like for him to kick rocks AND realize that he's a douche and never should have let me go. Spite is an excellent motivator for me. I ran a marathon to get over the other ex. I really need to re-think my choice in men, probably.

Is that asking too much?

I have something to say.

2010-09-14T21:15:00.000-07:00

It is always an EXCELLENT idea to go for a run that ends at your coworker's house for a glass of wine. Like, seriously. Probably one of my greatest. I have a coworker who reads Tarot cards, and likes to give me wine... Whenever things first went down earlier this summer, he had me over and cards showed up with swords stabbing hearts and whatnot. It actually made me feel much better. So tonight I went for a run and ended it at his house (4 miles later), and he gave me more wine and did a quick reading... It was filled with promise and happy things, which I find pleasant. Last time he basically said, "Yeah, your life sucks right now, but it will get better" and this time he said, "Okay, you're moving forward, that's good. Life won't suck quite as much." There was a guy with a cup and a horse involved, or something.

I'm not sure I believe in Tarot cards, but it's fun to hear what he has to say. Regardless, I DO believe in wine! I'd like to think that things will stop sucking soon. Judging by the fact that I actually made it out the door for a run, and it helped me clear my head, and I've gone whole days without crying (not in a row though, I'm working on that) I think I might be handling things a little better. Apparently I'm not a normal girl, who can just be broken up with and cry a little and be okay. Instead I have to be broken up with, have a health scare, and have crazy other things happen to me alllllll at the same time.

If I do things, I go big.

Yes, I am a little tipsy right now. My point is, today I went for a run. I have gotten out of bed every day. I have gone to work. I have put on a happy face and tried not to let onto too many people what I'm going through. And I think soon I may put on a happy face and it will really be happy. That's what I hope, at least.

Ain't life a bitch?

2010-09-14T18:24:00.001-07:00

Hilarious things I said to an old friend while updating her on the past four months of my life:
"Meh. I'm not dead. Or homeless. And I just ate a burrito, so really things are looking up!"
"My doctor is a rude bitch. Actually she's a really nice lady. I feel badly that I said that about her. But she has bad timing!"
"Is it wrong to go for a run and end my run at a coworker's house for a glass of wine? Like... How much does that defeat the purpose?"

I thought I would be so very different at 26. Yes, I know I'm not 26 for two more weeks. I'm rounding up!

This weekend I shall volunteer all day at an event for the homeless. Also, I shall run, and attend a baby shower. You know you're jealous.

I'm off to run... and probably drink wine. Whatever. Don't judge!

Ch-ch-ch-changes....

2010-09-08T10:50:00.000-07:00

Shawna and I have decided we are too limited if we say our blog is about fitness and healthy living. Plus, we drink a lot of beer.

So... you may have noticed that we tend to wander, and changed our blog header thingy. This is because we decided our blog would be more suited to be about living life in our late 20's (when did we get so old?) with musings on running and being healthy tied in.

Don't lie, you always knew we get distracted from our topics anyway...

Seriously though, when did we get old? Just yesterday I was in my early 20's.

One bottle of wine later...

2010-09-03T11:32:00.001-07:00

Um, I got a tattoo last night.

It wasn't planned. I decided to do it, and ten minutes later needles were being turned on. Let me explain...

In high school, I became friends with an exchange student from the Netherlands. She is hilarious, and I spent the majority of my senior year with her and my friend who went missing at sea a few years ago. I haven't seen her in seven years, but she turned up on my door step without warning this week while she is travelling around the world for a year. I must say, it was impeccable timing given my recent bouts of insanity and crying. She's very entertaining, and quite good at distracting me.

Last night, we drank a bottle of wine and ate some red vines, and in the process we forgot to eat dinner. Then came more wine. Then came a decision to float the river, even though it was super cold, and we took Shawna along with us. There, a drunken idea was born... We decided to get matching tattoos to always remember each other and our friend that went missing. Conveniently, I live a block away from a tattoo parlor. Also conveniently, we were drunk and therefore very spontaneous.

I woke up this morning and was very relieved to find that I still love it, and I'm glad we did it. There are very few friends that would randomly get a tattoo with me, but I'm glad she is one of them.

It didn't hurt that much, either. When the tattoo artist started doing it, I said, "Oh, is that all? I can take that!" She said given the amount of abuse my feet appear to have suffered from running, it looked like I had put them through worse. Ha.

So yes. I'm tattooed. And slightly hungover.

September

2010-09-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

I had the following goals in August:
1. Run a 5k in approximately 2 weeks, after convincing my running buddy to join me. For funsies.
2. Run Hood to Coast on August 27 & August 28. 19 miles in 2 days. Do not die while completing said goal, and try not to run 15 minute miles due to lung failure.
3. Bounce back. I don't like being in the depths of despair.
4. Purchase a kickass running skirt. Again, for funsies.
5. Kick butt during the last two months of the Biggest Loser contest with Shawna & co.
6. Feel like myself again.

And the results...
1. Did it. Didn't suck too badly.
2. Did it. Sucked a little, but oh well.
3. Meh. Other stuff happened to add on top of everything else, so I feel like this might take awhile.
4. I forgot about this one, actually.
5. We quit our competition, cause it made us feel like crap about ourselves. I'm okay with it.
6. Again, meh.

So... September is here. I shall attempt the following:
1. Run. Just run. When I want to, where I want to, at my pace. Get back to being the person that I was before, who would run for stress relief and didn't care what other people thought about her pace or ability.

2. Financial plan--get one. People in their late 20's should be more financially responsible than I am.

3. Get healthy. I don't care how much I weigh, I just don't feel right at the moment. Eat better, drink water, limit post-breakup cocktails.

4. Brush my hair at least once a week. The curly look is okay, but I feel like I should look more professional and less like I'm an airhead who doesn't own a hairbrush.

5. Do not cry on my birthday. Repeat: Do. Not. Cry. I am not really having an easy time, and I cry a lot, and I just feel like that's a day that I should not be sad.

Late 20's?

2010-09-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

In 26 days I will turn 26.

...

This is not how I envisioned my life would be at the age of 26.

When I was much younger, I thought I would be an architect, married, and have children at this age (I had just seen "Father of the Bride" and thought she totally had the right idea).

A few years ago, I thought I would be a hard-hitting journalist with an amazing career and probably have a super handsome boyfriend who adored me, and would most likely win awards all the time and be awesome.

Last year, I was dating the guy I thought I would marry, and felt like my life had finally turned around after the disasterous events from the year prior. I was in the best shape of my life, and set to run a marathon the following weekend. I really felt like I knew where my life was going, and I was happy with the direction it was headed.

So, here I am... late 20's quickly approaching. I am single, and exceptionally broken hearted, but I know I can live life on my own because I am good at taking care of myself. I have had events in recent days come close to hurting my spirit, but I am trying not to let them. I have a career, and I am very happy with it, even though it is something I never saw myself doing. I feel like I make a difference in people's lives, even though mine is sort of turned upside down at this point. I have my running shoes, and still plan to lace them up and hit the pavement in attempt to figure some things out. Someday, life will make sense.

This isn't how I pictured it.

Frosting.

2010-08-31T16:37:00.000-07:00

So, yeah. Things have been happening. I didn't think it was possible to be hurting more than I already was, but then some stuff happened, and I said to myself, "Self, your life is ridiculous sometimes."

I'll handle it. I'm pretty good at handling ridiculousness.

Anyway, that leads to my lack of posting lately. I started taking yoga at this place near my house, and discovered that I am hilarious when attempting to bend in ways that my body does not want to bend. The instructor doesn't seem to find it as funny, but I like her because she constantly makes me try different poses even when I'm scared. I'm doing a trial membership right now, and plan to take advantage of trial memberships all over town to see which yoga studio I like best. I think it might be a good thing to pursue when it's cold and snowing outside.

I ran a local 5K, and while it wasn't my best time ever, it also wasn't my worst. I was proud of myself because I sprinted the last little bit and passed a couple people. I did the best that I could, and that makes me happy.

Hood to Coast = ridiculous. If only I felt like publicizing to the Internet the goings on of my life, you would probably all say to me that I'm silly for running Hood to Coast when I had so much going on, but it was a really good distraction. I spent two days locked in a van (with some close friends, but also some strangers). I ran 17 miles in less than 24 hours. I slept in a field because that's what people do... It was an odd 197 miles. Kind of like what I imagine Woodstock was like, but with a bunch of crazy runners instead of drugs, nudity, and music. So really not like Woodstock at all.

My favorite leg was the middle leg. The first one was hot, flat, and boring for 6 miles. The last leg was hot, hilly, and sucked cause I was exhausted and was ready to be done. The middle leg was 7 miles, and I ran them at 3 a.m. through the middle of a pitch black forest. Particularly creepy because all that I had was a head lamp, reflective vest, and flashy lights on either side and at times I was the only person on the road and no vans were passing by. I also tripped in a pothole, nearly fell off the road into the ditch, and was very close to being hit by a car which I suspect was being driven by a drunk driver. Luckily I am excellent at regaining my balance due to my habit of falling down a lot. Also, a handsome man grabbed me out of the way of the drunk driver (if you're reading this, cute guy that runs faster than me, you should call me. We could go out to dinner and not get hit by cars together. Sounds magical, right?) and I did not die.

Some photo goodness:

Hood to Coast people have this habit of calling people "roadkill" when they pass them, and keeping track of their "roadkill count" and let me just tell you... I was roadkill a lot. Those Hood to Coast people don't mess around. We're talking 7 minute miles. On my middle of the night leg, there was a clearing where people were gathered to cheer on their teams, and when I arrived at that point the teams started chanting, "Kill her! Kill her!" as the girl behind me was trying to pass me. I totally hauled ass and avoided her... until we got past the clearing and no one could see us. Holy hell, she was fast.

So, yes, I did not die. Also, recently Shawna and I went on a road trip to Tour de Fat in Boise and I went out in public looking like this:

Luckily it was a drunken bicycle parade, so people didn't really care. And yes, I rode a bicycle wearing that. What?

For some reason, when I am as down as I have been the past couple days, baking makes me feel better. So yesterday I made gingerbread cupcakes with buttercream frosting and tiny gingerbread men on top. I didn't really want to eat them, I just wanted to make something. And frosting makes me happy, in all it's fluffy glory.

I'm pretty convinced that all of life's problems can be solved with frosting.

Suck.

2010-08-18T15:33:00.000-07:00

I fail. I am so not handling this well. I have eye bags bigger than my eyes cause I cry all the time, sometimes in secret so people won't judge me for crying so much.

Tomorrow I'm running a 5k, and it will probably be my slowest 5k ever, but I figure at least it will be a good distraction, right?

Details to follow.

One Month Later

2010-08-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

So, a month ago today, I had my heart broken.

I really thought I would be feeling much better at this point. When does that get to happen?

Last night, in attempt to keep my mind off things, I went to a 75 minute power yoga class wherein I accomplished the crow pose for the first time. I followed that up with running for over an hour. It didn't really keep my mind off things, but at least I wasn't on the couch, right?

A girl can only listen to so much Kelly Clarkson. Seriously though, that woman knows what she's talking about.

It sucks that I believed things that turned out not to be true. It really sucks that I let someone have my whole heart and they decided to toss me aside. I know that everyone else has been in this same spot, but it doesn't make me feel any better right now, when I can't stop crying randomly because the guy I thought I would spend my life with hurt me this much. Everyone keeps telling me I deserve better, and that I'll find a guy who will appreciate how awesome I am, but right now I don't believe that.

I'm trying to be myself again, but it's proving to be more difficult than I thought. I feel like everyone expects me to be happy-go-lucky and cracking jokes and being a smart ass like normal, but I just don't feel like myself since this happened. It really came out of the blue for me, and it hit me hard.

At least I still have my running shoes. And Kelly Clarkson.

Random Thursday Thoughts

2010-08-05T10:44:00.000-07:00

I just feel a need to say that I love when I get anonymous comments where people tell me I'm funny and like they my blog. It's way better than mean anonymous comments. Whoever you are, anonymous nice person, you rock! Quite frequently I think no one reads this blog (except Becky... and my sisters) and that I'm the only one that finds myself hilarious. So I'm glad that at least one other person thinks I'm moderately entertaining.

I am going camping this weekend, for several days, with a bunch of girls that grew up together and let me come to their reunions cause they adopted me. The lake we are going to was very recently under a toxic algae warning, but that has been lifted--hurray! Still not putting my face under water though. Toxic algae just seems like something that doesn't go away that easily.

Last night I was telling my neighbor ghost stories from my old apartment building, and I scared myself.

On August 19 I am running a 5k, mostly just cause it seemed like a good idea and it involves beer. What good race doesn't involve beer?

I still need a hug, kind of.

Goals for upcoming weeks

2010-08-03T10:18:00.000-07:00

1. Run a 5k in approximately 2 weeks, after convincing my running buddy to join me. For funsies.

2. Run Hood to Coast on August 27 & August 28. 19 miles in 2 days. Do not die while completing said goal, and try not to run 15 minute miles due to lung failure.

3. Bounce back. I don't like being in the depths of despair.

4. Purchase a kickass running skirt. Again, for funsies.

5. Kick butt during the last two months of the Biggest Loser contest with Shawna & co.

6. Feel like myself again.

This is normal in my household.

2010-08-02T21:24:00.000-07:00

Right now I'm sitting here, watching The Bachelorette, wearing Shawna's green tutu, a silky paisley robe, and holding a plastic sword.

Shawna is cleaning her room, in other words, and I found accessories.

This show is bumming me out a little, cause of all the damn happy and in-love bullcrap.

I spent last weekend at my adopted family's reunion, which was great, and drank beer and camped in a back yard. My best pal took good care of me and held my phone hostage so I wouldn't be too stupid, and let me climb trees. Actually, she let me climb HER so that I could get into the tree to climb it.

I also didn't cry (except for a little) and also hung out with my sister who sang Dixie Chicks songs at the top of her lungs with me in the car, walked on the beach with me, and fed me fro-yo.

Have I mentioned I'm not handling this well?

It's starting...

2010-07-27T19:56:00.001-07:00

My aunt just sent me a message on Facebook suggesting I join an online dating site. Apparently her daughter has had a few dates on this very site, and she thinks it would be helpful in my situation.

I've been single for a week.

I am going for a run now.

Ugh.

2010-07-25T21:13:00.001-07:00

Tonight I had a giant bowl of ice cream for dinner, and watched a Lifetime movie with Jennifer Love Hewitt as the star.

I'm not proud.

I realize that I'm wallowing, and by wallowing I am letting him win. Sometimes though, wallowing just feels like what needs to happen.

I have a feeling that this one is going to lead to a lot of miles being put on my running shoes. Just as soon as I'm done wallowing.

Things that have cheered me up lately...

2010-07-23T15:29:00.000-07:00

1. My coworker (and source of great advice/lots of listening), running down the hallway to my office, yelling, "LESLIE I HAVE THE SOLUTION!" and dragging me to the break room... where someone had left cheesecake for everyone. She proceeded to do a little "happy, cheesecake dance" and then run to find forks. Later she suddenly appeared in my doorway, and said with a look of great thoughtfullness, "So this situation is even more like Ali from The Bachelorette than we originally thought..." before wandering away without waiting for a response.

2. Having friends like Shawna who will know exactly what you need. While I was crying on the couch, she was taking photos out of frames in my bedroom, hiding them from me, buying me Kleenex at 7-11, threatening to hack into my facebook and delete a certain boy, and convincing me that a martini at 11:30 is a great idea. Also, she immediately hates anyone who is mean to me. Also, she gives me alcohol and chocolate, and doesn't hate me yet for crying so much and being no fun to hang out with. And when I forget to eat dinner, she offers to make me chicken salad, buys me ice cream, and lets me take some of her Tylenol PM when I can't sleep.

3. The fact that it is summer, so I have river floating, lots of running, and bbq's to distract me from the fact that I feel like I've been stomped on. Even more hilarious is river floating with Shawna, who runs into rocks and screams, "IT'S A DEAD BODY!!!!"

4. My heterosexual life mate Chelse, who has been in this spot before herself, and lets me call her at whatever time of day I need and cry for hours on the phone. I'm just glad we get to call each other for free, cause last time one of us was in this position we had $400 phone bills (oops). She always tends to know exactly how I feel, even when I'm lying to myself and trying to act bright and cheery and like I'm okay. Also, she doesn't lie to me, and instead says, "Yeah, this will suck. And yeah, you're not handling it well right now." She says it will get better, and I tend to believe her.

5. Blog readers offering to mail me beer. Becky, if that is legal, I would love you forever!

6. All my friends/family who have taken this opportunity to tell me how awesome I am, that I deserve better, take me out to dinner, buy me a drink, and offer to marry me/date me/kick boys in the face. It's good to know that people have my back.

7. Although I am not dealing with this well at all (I'll admit it) my lack of focus has led to hilarious moments like the following:
Client: *Asks question in English*
Me: *Answers question in great detail, in Spanish*
Client: *Looks at me in utter confusion... since they don't speak Spanish*
Me: "Oh, shit."
Someday I'll regain my brain again, right? And my professionalism?

I know things will get better, but they sure suck right now. Where is the fast forward button?

Insert Golden Girls Theme Song Here

2010-07-21T09:41:00.000-07:00

So, I got dumped.

It was the kind of breakup that led to my gal pals buying me a martini at 11:30 at night while I was in my sweatpants with my hair in a mess cause I had been on my way to bed and got the phone call.

Strangely, it was this very time last summer that I was dealing with a prior breakup. And it broke me. Badly.

I don't want to be broken anymore. Maybe I will just run off my emotions?

I also ran over 7 miles yesterday, and didn't die. So at least my lungs are cooperating when someone breaks my heart.

This sucks.

Confessions of a lackluster blogger

2010-07-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

1. Today I had a fortune cookie without a fortune inside. This makes me wonder about my future.

2. I drank 5 beers throughout the course of the day yesterday, and was completely surprised by that fact when I counted the empty beer bottles this morning. Twilight summer ale = delicious

3. I cried through two episodes of "Top Chef" today, and then realized that if I'm going to be a girl and cry for two hours, I should at least do so through something stereotypical like "Steel Magnolias."

4. I have not run more than 3 miles in over 3 weeks. My lungs are trying to kill me.

5. I have thought about blogging several times in recent days, but typing seemed too difficult.

6. I have spent quality time wondering what I would do if I passed Neil Patrick Harris on the street. Do I say hello, and tell him that I have a plate with his face on it, because he's awesome? Or do I just walk by?

7. When I was younger I thought I would have life figured out by the age of 25. Perhaps I will at least have a couple things down when I turn 26 in a couple months?

8. I like to round up when it comes to my age, and have recently been telling people I'm 26. I don't consider that to be a lie.

9. Sometimes, I dream about calling in sick to work and spending the day doing something fun. I have yet to call in unless I'm deathly ill, unfortunately.

10. I often wonder, if people who have passed away can really "look down" and see us, does that mean they look at us naked?

Oh, hey.

2010-07-12T15:35:00.000-07:00

I've had a lot going on lately, and no I would not like to talk about it.

I ran away to my bestie's house in Idaho this past weekend, and wandered ghost towns in the middle of nowhere followed by an adventure setting up a kiddie pool in her front yard. I always travel with the kiddie pool--really it just lives in the trunk of my car, but I can't tell you how many times it has been useful.

We set it up. We sat in it. We drank beer. We talked. And her giant black lab thought it was a great idea and decided to join us, and laid down in it. Hilarity ensued.

Sometimes, that's just what a girl needs.

Clarification

2010-07-02T13:23:00.000-07:00

I do not intend to lose 43 pounds in 12 weeks. I plan to lose however much weight I manage to lose in 12 weeks, but not the whole whopping 43 pounds. That's just my ultimate goal... I would be happy with 12 pounds!

I cannot be blamed for any crazy things I write at the moment. I'm sick. And probably crazy. It's the cold medicine talking... My bronchial tubes are on steroids.

I just ate a vegetable sandwich with jalepeños. My father claims they cure all ailments. We shall see...

Well, damn.

2010-07-01T09:20:00.000-07:00

So, this one morning I woke up and stepped on the scale, and discovered I had gained 35 pounds.

Clearly, this did not happen in a day. But I finally realized that 35 pounds is a substantial amount of weight. Not that I hadn't realized that 25 pounds ago, but my little friend named denial was being a bad influence.

I blame this one several things:

1. Post-marathon slump. Yes, it is still a slump, until I say it isn't a slump. I accomplished this huge goal and then went, "What now?" What now turned out to be a lot of not working out as hard as I have been. Yes, I realize I ran a marathon almost a year ago. Shut up.

2. New boyfriend = lots of eating. Eating out, eating ice cream, saying to myself, "I don't need to run, I don't need to work out, I will do it tomorrow" because I was cuddling on the couch and watching a movie. Problem is, we've now been dating for almost a year so that excuse doesn't work anymore, damn it.

3. New roommate Shawna. You see, Shawna and I love snacks like lime tortilla chips and oreos. And fro yo. And clearly we need to transform that love into a love of bicycling and hiking and being active instead of watching episodes of "Big Love" and eating snacks. When we didn't see each other as often, our love of food that is bad for us was not a problem--but we see each other every day now. Oops.

So, there we have it. I got a little fatter. Now I must re-lose it, so that my pants fit. I kept thinking to myself, "Oh, this isn't a problem, I will be fine." But it is a problem for me, because I don't want to buy new clothes and I feel unhealthy. My health is the reason I lost 75 pounds in the first place, and I felt the best I have ever felt.

As a result of all this, Shawna and I have formulated our very own "Biggest Loser" contest, wherein we are competing for 12 weeks to see how much weight we can lose. As of right now, I would like to lose 43 pounds, because that would put me at 137 which is the highest of the ideal weight range for my height. I don't know that it is the best idea to lose 43 pounds in 12 weeks, so it might take me longer to lose all that, but I'm going to give it a go.

Someday, I will wear my pants again.

My lung hurts.

2010-06-30T08:58:00.001-07:00

Only the left lung hurts today, which is a plus.

I am sick.

Probably the sickest I remember being in a very long time.

I want some soup and someone to make me tea.

I am a whiny bitch when I am sick.

The doctor won't let me run for at least a week, and I find that very boring.

Note to self... do not run while sick.

2010-06-26T21:40:00.000-07:00

Did I mention I'm ill? I have the cold from hell, and last night it began to hurt my lungs to breathe, and even more so when I cough. I was feeling horrible all day at work, but I'm stubborn and like to pretend like I am fine.

My day started like this:

It continued like this:

Which led to this:

With a final dose of this:

It took me WAY too long to run that 13.1 miles today--like I was seriously sucking it up, but I was pushing myself as hard as I could. I just couldn't breathe! Shortly upon my arrival home, my sister made me go to urgent care where lovely things happened like an x-ray of my chest to see if I have pneumonia.

Plus note: I do not have pneumonia. Sad note: I have a bad viral infection, and the doctor was very mad at me for having run a half marathon that morning. What can I say, I am hardcore. Either that, or foolish.

Now I have inhalers that I am supposed to use every few hours, and I had to do weird breathing treatments. Also, I still feel like crap.

Also, I am not allowed to run or do any aerobic activity for at least a week, per my doctor. She's very strict, and finds me very ridiculous.

At least I finished, right?

Hot Mess

2010-06-25T10:23:00.001-07:00

I am falling apart at the seams. Seriously, I feel like my life is out of balance or something... and as a result, my lungs and respiratory system are rebelling.

I have the cold from hell. I feel like crap. I sound like an old man. One of my clients began his appointment today by saying, "Are you okay? You look terrible!"

Did I mention I'm running a half marathon tomorrow? The beer run has been established as a no-go, as we didn't want to pay the entry fee... Did I even mention the beer run to the blog world? I was going to run 13.1 miles, drive home, and run 3more miles in this really cool "Beer Run" where they give you a beer at each milepost. However, now I'm only supposed to run 13.1 miles, and I can't even breath while I'm sitting. Oh, the drama that is my life.

I will write again soon, assuming I do not die.

Here are my goals for July, a little in advance:

1. Stop drinking so much! Alcohol is bad. Just because it is summer, it does not mean I need to drink beer more often. Even though beer is so delicious...

2. Must. make. pants. fit.

3. Drink more water. Take vitamins regularly, not just when I see them sitting on the kitchen shelf and go, "Oh yeah, I have vitamins." Establish proper immune system so that working with the general public does not give me the plague every few days.

4. Be nicer to the boyfriend. I feel like I pick on him a lot. Also, be nicer to Shawna, even though she is gross and wipes her dirty socks on my face when I least expect it.

5. Train for Hood to Coast, and get all hardcore and such, so that I feel less like I'm falling apart at the seams and more like I can kick someone in the face and injure them severely because I have powerful leg muscles.

You're welcome.

So, there's this thing...

2010-06-23T13:08:00.000-07:00

I'm supposed to be running a half marathon in three days. However, I cannot currently breathe. It seems that weeks of being surrounded by sick people (Shawna, our neighbor, my client's, Jason's daughter...) has left me with a case of the plague.

Hand sanitizer is my friend. I have learned my lesson. Can I have my health back, please?

This could be interesting...

Shawna is a freak.

2010-06-16T20:08:00.000-07:00

It has come to my attention that my roommate is a weird, weird individual.

In the past 24 hours, she has done the following:

1. Snuggled up in my laundry, while saying, "I wish I was a tiger!"

2. Convinced me that it was a great idea to get fro-yo instead of running. That actually was a good idea.

3. Rubbed her sweaty, gross socks on my face while I was driving.

4. Made me touch a bone in her foot that was sore.

5. Scratched her head with an awesome head scratcher I purchased, then screamed and said that it made her think of long, dead fingers.

6. Drank beer while also dunking Oreos in milk and eating them. During this process, she began to talk to me about how her Oreos were impotent.

7. Greeted me upon her arrival home, hugging me and licking my ear.

8. Attempted to see if our neighbor was home by climbing up by her window and screaming her name through the opening.

All in one day, people...

Really?

2010-06-10T21:31:00.000-07:00

Comment on my last post:
Anonymous said...

Pardon me if I'm being rude, but how much work did you put into it before trying out? Most of the women I know puts in months of work on skating, endurance, and agility before tryouts. It's not something to do on a lark for a local paper before it makes good copy; and frankly, it's not fair for the existing players and those trying out if you only go half-assed by not working ahead of time. And if you did do that, I apologize in advance (although you should have noted that, too - since derby is not something that can be done on short-notice, movies notwithstanding).

June 9, 2010 8:54 PM

Guess what, Anonymous? You are being rude.

I had only a few day's notice before trying out for roller derby--I was asked to do it for the paper, and I agreed. Everyone involved was aware that I had no experience, so I made no efforts to pretend otherwise.

It really disturbs me that someone would post something like that on my blog, especially without attaching their name. If you really have a problem with me, at least be man or woman enough to say who you are. This blog is nothing more than a way for me to post about the random and entertaining things that happen to me, and I don't want it to become something that brings me down. I don't post things to hear criticism or for people to try to bring me down. In fact, I wasn't really aware that anyone reads this other than my sisters and a couple other people (and I love you all, my three loyal readers). For a brief second, this comment really bothered me. Luckily I realized that something this silly shouldn't ruin my day.

I do not do anything half-assed. If I agree to do something, I give it my all. In this case, my all involved a lot of falling on my face, but it cannot be said that I didn't try.

So, Anonymous, guess what? You can suck it.

Roller derby = sore butt

2010-06-09T15:05:00.000-07:00

Last summer I went to a roller derby match, drank a beer, and said, "Wow, that is a fabulous idea! I should try out!"

Many things are a good idea after I drink beer. This does not mean I should pursue them.

I was approached with the opportunity to write a story about trying out for the roller derby for a local paper. Clearly, I agreed, as I am awesome. That's how I found myself strapping on skates last night (and putting my helmet on backwards, which the coach told me was "so cute"). I wore my marathon shirt, in an effort to look hardcore and like I should be besties with Carrie Underwood (we have the same shirt, in case you missed that or I haven't mentioned it 20 times).

Turns out that I am not meant to be on wheels. I mean, seriously. I fall down a lot. Remember the ditch incident, which led to me attending a wedding covered in Hello Kitty band-aids? A treadmill face plant anyone? What possesses me to decide I can put on roller skates and NOT hurt myself?

I crashed and burned. Many, many times. To the point where I couldn't even skate on the track with the rest of the skaters, I had to skate in my own little world on the concrete where I couldn't trip anyone with my nearly dead body lying across the track. Hilarity ensued. Also, I got to second base with the coach in attempt to grab onto anything possible to break my fall. Oops.

My pal Anne went with me, and was immediately awesome at roller derby. Last week she also went on a run with me after having not run since high school, and ran over 3 miles without difficulty. I feel like she is obviously an alien. Also, a roller derby ringer. I was kind of having gym class flashbacks a couple times, cause I was the black sheep of the roller derby group.

Today my butt is bruised, and I'm also sore from doing ridiculous things like crunches and push ups while wearing roller skates. Those girls do not mess around. But I survived, and I didn't even have to utilize my kickass health insurance!

I actually was really upset about this last night (I had also had a really shitty day, so that probably made me both crazy and emotional) and started crying because I was so embarrassed about being a roller derby failure. Luckily, I didn't do this until I was in the car, or the other roller derby girls would have realized I'm not at all hardcore, even though I have an awesome shirt.

So, I can't be good at everything. But at least I can be mediocre at some things. And I'm really, really good at falling down.

TV characters we'd make out with

2010-06-03T18:52:00.000-07:00

Trent Lane (Daria)

Tats, goatee, and lack of ambition. All very hot.

Jim Halpert (The Office)

Sigh. We love this dreamboat. We'll cut Pam if we have to.

Barney Stinson (HIMYM)

Birthday suiting up, perhaps?

Marshall Erickson (HIMYM)

We'd scout out Nessy with him any day.

Eric (The Little Mermaid)

Part-time sailor, full-time cartoon hottie.

Sawyer!!!! (Lost)

We'd brave a hellish island and smoke monsters for this man any day.

Matt Saracen (Friday Night Lights)

So poetic and forlorn.

Tim Riggins (Friday Night Lights)

He likes beer. We like him. And beer.

Gus Pike (Tales from Avonlea)

He may smell like fish, but he can read now!

Piz (Veronica Mars)

Clearly better than Logan. I mean, come on!

Jess (Gilmore Girls)

Dean is a whiny little bitch. Jess is obviously way better.

Joey (Friends)

How you doin'?

Ned (Pushing Daisies)

Several inappropriate comments were just made about pie. That's all we can say.

Spike (Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

Bite me? Yes, please.

Seth (The O.C.)

Shawna: What's it called when you're a whiny little bitch in high school, but awesome?
Leslie: Emo?
Shawna: Oh, yeah.

Puck (Glee)

Totally hotter than the other Glee Club douches. Kirk/Kurt is also awesome, but we can never remember his names.

Bob Harper (The Biggest Loser)

Probably gay, but straight enough for us.

And for the grand finale, Jacob (Twilight Series).

You're welcome.

Um.

2010-06-01T15:49:00.001-07:00

I just agreed to try out for the roller derby and write a story for a local alternative paper.

I fall down a lot...without wheels under me.

Thoughts?

What's up, readers?

2010-05-30T20:45:00.000-07:00

By readers, I mean the three of you. I do this for you! If by "this" you mean suddenly realize I haven't updated my blog in more than a week. Oops.

I'm enjoying a particularly long weekend, which I celebrated by going for frozen yogurt with my sister and Jason's 8-year-old niece. We're all pretty cool people.

Have I mentioned I love fro-yo?

Zooey Deschanel likes fro yo, too!

2010-05-30T15:34:00.000-07:00

Zooey Deschanel is awesome. Fact. I've had a fascination with that girl since I saw her in Elf and she blew me away with her amazing rendition of "Baby, it's cold outside." Since then I've YouTubed the heck out of her, first scouring for videos of her singing in her cabaret act, "If All the Stars Were Pretty Babies" and now of her in her better known band with M. Ward, "She & Him." I happen to be going to a She & Him and Band of Horses concert in 1.5 hours. Jealous?

I love Zooey because she is quirky and fun and girly with the voice of a 60's pop singer. I basically want to be her, but sadly I don't have the vocal ability. Whatever, I can try to embody what she means to me, all dresses and ukuleles and bangs and cuteness.

Recently it has been brought to my unavoidable attention by a cruel doctor's office scale that I currently weigh more than I ever have and ever thought I would. This upward climb must come to an end, so I've decided to make Zooey my inspiration. She's a visual reminder of what I want for myself, a joyful life (and a Joseph Gordon-Levitt) of my own.

This blog post sounds really stupid, doesn't it? Whatever. Zooey is awesome, and I'm going to see her in person so soon!

Dear Shawna, please blog.

2010-05-25T13:54:00.001-07:00

I keep forgetting to blog. I think the blog misses Shawna.

If you say "blog" enough times in a row, it sounds weird.

I have nothing interesting to report. I work a lot, I run a lot, I sleep a lot. It's just how exciting I am, really.

Tonight I shall eat Subway and watch the Biggest Loser finale with my good pal Anne and her mother, because the three of us are a trifecta of product-placement-rocking awesome.

Holy gross.

2010-05-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

Running gives me the grossest feet ever. Seriously, it's horrible. It almost makes me want to not wear flip flops.

I've been running quite a bit lately, as I have a half marathon next month and Hood to Coast in August (though strangely, my pants still do not fit. Darn it). So my feet are in interesting shape, to say the least.

I have this weird habit of kicking my shoes off under my desk while I'm doing paperwork, and today I have a stack of paperwork as big as I am... I kept noticing this weird feeling of something tickling my toe, and finally looked down.

It was a callus, that detached, as another callus has grown underneath it.

WOW.

Did I really just admit that to the internet?

Hermit, party of one.

2010-05-19T15:10:00.000-07:00

I have this theory, and it is that I would be a much richer person if I were born as royalty, able to earn my education without debt, and I didn't like shopping so much.

I've really got to work on that.

I also plan to become completely uninteresting as the summer goes on, in attempt to save crazy amounts of money and not be in financial ruin when I hit 30.

Ways in which I plan to cut costs:
1. No more eating. Who needs that. Pshaw. (I'm only partly kidding). Okay, okay... no more eating out.
2. Biking to work. Saves gas!
3. Invent teleporation, to save on travel costs.
4. Grow vegetables in front of my house, either to feed the homeless or myself.
5. No more shopping. Really. Shopping is bad for me.

Ah, adult responsibility.

FRO YO!!!!!!!

2010-05-18T09:05:00.001-07:00

When I typed the title of this post, I accidentally typed "Fro You" and have decided that shall be my go-to insult for Shawna from now on. Fro you, Shawna!

Last night I was out on a slightly rain-soaked run, basking in the glory that is me not dying while running (woo!) when my running buddy looked towards a nearby building and said, "Oh look, frozen yogurt!"

My response: "SHAWNA WILL BE SO EXCITED, I MUST TELL HER IMMEDIATELY!"

You see, Shawna and I have been on a quest lately to discover a soft-serve frozen yogurt joint in our town. So far all we have come up with is Costco, where you can buy a vat of soft serve for $1.35. While this is indeed delicious, it is also far away from our house and probably too much fro yo to be good for a person.

So last night when I saw signs for a self-service fro yo place (with a gazillion topping choices) you can imagine my delight. It just says opening soon, but that's a step in the right direction!

Shawna and I are limited ourselves to twice per week, and only if we bicycle there and back. Unless one of us is on our period, and then we get an extra outing per week.

My pants are never going to fit, are they?

June 26!

2010-05-17T09:37:00.001-07:00

I just registered for a half marathon.

Why do I do these things?

I still have the plague, so I sound like a boy in puberty today.

Weekend cardio

2010-05-16T18:33:00.000-07:00

Forms of "exercise" completed this weekend:

1. Dancing like a fool, for several hours, to the likes of Journey and Beastie Boys. Yes, I am that cool.
2. Walking around (lots and lots of walking around) a local athletic event during which people ski, then bicycle, then run, then kayak, and then sprint. Totally forming a team next year.
3. Bicycle ride from my home to my office to see how difficult it would be to bike to work. Still moderately afraid of biking around cars and traffic, which is a problem... We'll see.
4. 9 mile run that turned into a 7 mile run, as I still have the plague and a freak thunderstorm was approaching. Still, I made good time, and it's better than 6 miles! Did I mention I have the plague?

You're welcome.

Jell-O Head

2010-05-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

Operation pants? Not going so well. My head feels like jell-o.

I have a sinus infection, and now have lovely antibiotics, but I still feel like death. I have been sick all week. As a result, I have not run all week.

Maybe today I will run. Who knows?

But really, I mean it, I will be very hardcore. Today I told the boyfriend that I feel like death (and also a grumpy orca whale). He told me to quit being as ass (after several more self-deprecating comments on my part). Well played, sir...

Operation Pants

2010-05-12T20:17:00.001-07:00

So, I have this problem... my pants don't fit. I realize that training for a marathon put me in some kickass shape, and now that I am not training for a marathon, my pants do not fit.

Oops. Also, damn.

Turns out I've gained 20 pounds in the past year, which is entirely unfortunate. Granted, I had a hell of a year, with lots of changes--but I also ran a marathon, so that's cool. I never really intended to gain weight back, but then, who does? It's not that I'm unhappy with myself, it's more that I would really like to wear the closet full of pants that I own, and not buy new ones.

Currently size 12 fits. I'm cool with this, and I do not think a size 12 is a bad thing. Nor will I let anyone convince me that size 12 is fat, or that I should be smaller. I can still run, I can still be awesome, and I am still healthy. I just felt much more comfortable at a size 10. And I have really cute size 10 pants, and I would like for them to fit, please.

It's weird to me that I sometimes feel fat and later reflect upon that weight and realize that when I thought that, I was not at all fat. Several years ago I weighed 220 pounds and dreamed of being a size 12. As such, I like to keep things in perspective. Size 12 = good. Size 10 = able to wear pants, and still good.

I have no idea how I've gained 20 pounds... I thought I would notice after 10, and I did, but I still gained 10 more. Am I just supposed to be this weight? Am I just destined to be this size unless I'm doing ridiculous things like training for a marathon? I still think I'm awesome, regardless. My family still loves me. I seem to have found a man who likes me even if I have gotten a little softer in the middle, which is a bonus. Still, I feel like I can be a little more hardcore. And I'm too cheap to buy new pants

Thus, my mission: to make my pants fit.

Here are random pictures for your amusement, from my birthday. My pants fit at that point:

Hurray!

2010-05-12T18:38:00.001-07:00

We got our first spam comment on our blog. I'm so proud.

Could someone please convince Shawna that it is a really good idea to sign up for a month of unlimited yoga for $29 at the yoga studio that is a block away from our house?

Twinsies!

2010-05-10T15:40:00.001-07:00

I don't even remember where I found this, but I made the best discovery ever today...

Carrie Underwood and I totally have the same workout shirt. That's a picture of her and her trainer. I would also like to mention that the shirt cost $5 at Target.

This means we should be best friends, probably.

Remember this?

I love Target too, Carrie, and I like to wear this shirt when I run marathons and face plant on treadmills because it makes me look hardcore. Call me. We could be a hardcore duo.

10 years

2010-05-03T22:04:00.001-07:00

So, today was the 10th anniversary of my sister's death. I don't know why I feel the need to broadcast that on this blog like I did last year, but I guess I just want to shout out to the universe that this date hasn't passed by unnoticed by me.

Every year I call my mom on May 3rd. It feels like we are the only two people in the world who know what this date means to us. Heather is not forgotten, not by us. Sometimes my mom or I will mention her during the phone call, sometimes not. But I know that Mom is thinking of Heather just as I am on this day a week before Mother's Day.

It's been a decade since I've laughed at my sister's sarcastic humor, attacked her with my painfully tight hugs, and eagerly awaited a letter from her in the mail. Sometimes I feel like a jerk when I point out to others that I still miss her and love her as much as ever, like I feel that they feel I should just be over being sad already. But I can still hear her laugh and feel her love, and I know I'll never be done grieving for who she would have been today and who I miss from before.

I am now 26, the age Heather was when she died. She is my older sister no matter what age I am, but it's strange that she'll always be frozen in time for me at that age. When I'm 50 with wrinkles, I'll still remember my big sister as she was in 2000, a young and happy 26-year-old growing into herself and her life.

Life is so short, and it's hard to believe I haven't seen my sister in ten years when she's still such a part of my world and who I am. These are the years my sister was given; these 26 are what I've been given so far, too. Ten years ago I got a phone call that made me wonder how I'd ever be able to wake up the next morning, breathe in and out. Here I am, still standing, and so is my mom. I feel like love is an incredible thing.

Back from Hawaii

2010-05-02T12:25:00.000-07:00

Do I have to go back to work tomorrow?

Oh, hello.

2010-04-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

I'm going to Hawaii today. Jealous?

Caution: scandalous blog ahead.

2010-04-20T21:30:00.000-07:00

Shawna and I had this bright idea recently: at home bikini waxing. Brilliant, right?

Wrong. SO WRONG.

Do not read this if you are faint of heart, or at all opposed to the use of the word "vagina" multiple times. Let me begin this by saying that I am not opposed to waxing--I wax my own eyebrows, and have no problems. Eyebrows and vaginas, it would appear, are incredibly different things.

So, we bought some wax, Shawna took a shot of rum, and there we were. Just us, the wax, and our courage. Shawna was in the bathroom and I was in my bedroom, which are conveniently located right next to each other. I'm sure the neighbor really appreciated our yells of, "OH MY GOD, SHAWNA, WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?" through her wall.

I decided to be brave and go first. Clearly, this was the wrong plan. Why didn't I learn from Shawna's mistakes?!?!?!?

The first strip wasn't as bad as I was expecting. And then came the second strip. And the third. And finally I noticed blood coming forth, and I nearly cried.

At one point I had some stuck on there that wouldn't come off, and was yelling, "Shawna, my vagina looks like a patch work quilt! What do I do?" I've come to an important conclusion as a result of this experience: my cooch does not want to be waxed. It is not in favor.

I gave up much earlier than Shawna, patchwork vag and all, and heard her in the bathroom saying, "Oh dear. Oh damn." Next thing I know, she's telling me that she somehow has wax on her foot, and needs cheeseburger.

Vagina wax = 1 Shawna and Leslie = 0

Plus note: the wax we bought makes excellent eyebrow wax. Just don't get it anywhere near your hoo-hah.

My flesh hurts.

2010-04-18T19:40:00.000-07:00

I went for a run with my running buddy this morning, while Shawna and our pal Anne biked alongside us... We were very hardcore and ran for 1:20, with plenty of hills, and were very fast and awesome.

It was also very sunny, and I didn't think to put on sunblock because I got so used to the rain and storm clouds.

Ouch.

I really, really need to take sunblock to Hawaii.

Currently I'm sitting around in my swim suit (I wanted to see how badly my sports bra sunburn line would look--ridiculous, btw) and Shawna and I rubbed lotion on our lobster-like skin.

Lesson learned.